Black History Tales

Black History Tales: The last slaves to get word of being "free" were owned by defeated Confederate Gen. Robert E Lee..His 5 slaves were 100% deaf so he showed them the papers he signed to end slavery.But he knew they couldnt read so they continued to work for him for the next 20 yrs.When asked on his death bed by US President Ulysses Grant, why he didnt let them know he replied "I did..Payback a Bitch Aint It"

Black History Tales

Black History Tales: Have you ever wondered what black people did after finding out they were freed?...Im sure after the celebrations they were like "What the hell we supposed to do now?(lookin around aimlessly)".....One probably said "I dont know what yall go do but Im gettin the hell off this yard b4 they change their minds"

End of Days??

Its quite funny to me how people get to panicking about the world coming to an end when there is a crisis going on in some of these 3rd world countries.. Like the stuff thats happening in Libya and Egypt...Maybe just maybe the citizens overthrowing the government because they got assholes as leaders..Maybe just maybe these earthquakes and tsunamis that hit Indonesia and Japan had something to do with them living on a volcano thats sittin on faults in the middle of the damn ocean..Maybe this global recession has do with terrible financial budgeting rather than God punishing us.. I believe Jesus is coming back like everybody else but I dont think he said anything about a certain time or date... I heard my mom the other day say that one of the preachers on TV imply that on the day 11/11/11 something catastrophic will happen..Maybe thats just the day his child support payments kicks in..Stop trying to rush God and his plan!!! Im sure God wont be givin off subtle hints when the wrath comes people...

Isnt This What Its There For?

I pretty much use the restroom whenever and wherever its available. Sometimes I trip on how much people think their restroom isnt supposed to be used. Like these half bathrooms at my sister's house.. Is it my fault that its by the kitchen. There is a toilet and toilet paper in there, so that tells ME that if that its been used prior to me. The spray on the sink lets me know that you know its gonna be some slightly irregular fumes gonna be circulating after I finish. The magazines you have so eloquently displayed on the small stand next to the toilet tells me that I may wanna relax and kick my shoes off while Im in there. You know, Take my time right? And then to top that off you have some nice lookin little small hand towels next to the sink..Why are you mad that I dried my hands off after washing them? Should I have used my shirt?.. So dont tell me to use the one upstairs when you have company over. Heres a suggestion for you half-bathroom owners...1)If you dont want no one to "booboo", unscew the toilet seat off..2)Take away the magazines and replace it with Bibles.Who wants to get religious why taking a dump?.. 3)Remove the towels you have for decoration and get napkins.. If its called a half-bathroom then make the options you want us to use the toilet a halfway choice..

Closed Mouths Dont Get Fed

Dont you wish you woulda just asked something to someone at the certain time? I have come to the conclusion that you dont know what the outcome will be if you dont ask..Here are certain scenarios that you should satisfy your curiousity.

Scenerio 1: When you get pulled over by a cop and they gettin ready to arrest you for a warrant. If you are close to home, ask them "Sir can you trail me home 1st, I dont have enough money to get my car outta tow?"

Scenario 2: When in your car and you are preparing to follow a funeral line..If you know you're low on gas, ask the officers leading the way to stop by the nearest gas station..If he objects, ask him "Whats the hurry, everybody going 10 mph anyhow?"

Scenario 3: When at the supermarket , and you have a couple items overthe limit in the "10" items or less line. Ask the person behind you to put it in his basket and give him the money.. If he objects, tell him "you dont even have 10 items, why the phuck you trippin?"

Scenario 4: If you are a personal assistant and your boss asks you to do things like get his coffee "ask him can you see your job summary"? Surely it must be different than people lower than you in the chain of command right?

Interviewing Is All in the Mind

Dont you get tired of preparing day n night for what appears to be a "certain" job offer then they tell you that you dont meet the qualifications..And dont you hate when they ask you "Do you have any questions for me?" after your interview knowing damn well they will never see you again.. Well I have some interviewing tips for you to ensure yourself that they WONT forget you...

Tip 1: When they ask you where do you see yourself in 5 years, take a breath, lean back, and say "I see myself in an office like this(while looking around the office in admiration).

Tip 2: When a female interviewer asks you "Why should I hire you?"...lean forward and look deep in her eyes and say "Well, I dont mind started from the bottom..I plan to start from the bottom and work my way to the top."

Tip 3:When they ask you whats your desired salary..Step out and ask people who have the same job position how much they making 1st..You dont wanna sell yourself short right?

Tip 4:When they ask you "do you have reliable transportation?"...Its nothing wrong with asking him/her how often do the buses run around here...

Tip 5: And finally when they say to you "Thank you we'll be callin you soon". Be proactive and kick off your shoes and say "It's okay, I'll wait"

Either they will remember you or you will be slapped with lawsuit but at least you'll know where you stand immediately!!!

This is My Family

The family reunion was a huge success considering most of the people that showed up lives in Houston anyway...Got to see a few folks I havent seen in a minute though. My cousin Roderick is 36 still wearing clothes he had since 95, cause the nigga look like he aint gained a pound since ....still eating soup outta the can..Saw lil sis Helen, who dropped her baby an hour before arriving to the reunion and already was ready to put something on the drank....Saw my uncle E.L looking like Uncle Ruckus..Saw my cousin Vanessa from Austin , whose 8th and final daughter graduated high school.. Now I assume the party begins for her..She'll be sending yall an invite on Facebook in a minute...But all in all it was fun and cant wait till the next one ..