Isnt This What Its There For?

I pretty much use the restroom whenever and wherever its available. Sometimes I trip on how much people think their restroom isnt supposed to be used. Like these half bathrooms at my sister's house.. Is it my fault that its by the kitchen. There is a toilet and toilet paper in there, so that tells ME that if that its been used prior to me. The spray on the sink lets me know that you know its gonna be some slightly irregular fumes gonna be circulating after I finish. The magazines you have so eloquently displayed on the small stand next to the toilet tells me that I may wanna relax and kick my shoes off while Im in there. You know, Take my time right? And then to top that off you have some nice lookin little small hand towels next to the sink..Why are you mad that I dried my hands off after washing them? Should I have used my shirt?.. So dont tell me to use the one upstairs when you have company over. Heres a suggestion for you half-bathroom owners...1)If you dont want no one to "booboo", unscew the toilet seat off..2)Take away the magazines and replace it with Bibles.Who wants to get religious why taking a dump?.. 3)Remove the towels you have for decoration and get napkins.. If its called a half-bathroom then make the options you want us to use the toilet a halfway choice..

Closed Mouths Dont Get Fed

Dont you wish you woulda just asked something to someone at the certain time? I have come to the conclusion that you dont know what the outcome will be if you dont ask..Here are certain scenarios that you should satisfy your curiousity.

Scenerio 1: When you get pulled over by a cop and they gettin ready to arrest you for a warrant. If you are close to home, ask them "Sir can you trail me home 1st, I dont have enough money to get my car outta tow?"

Scenario 2: When in your car and you are preparing to follow a funeral line..If you know you're low on gas, ask the officers leading the way to stop by the nearest gas station..If he objects, ask him "Whats the hurry, everybody going 10 mph anyhow?"

Scenario 3: When at the supermarket , and you have a couple items overthe limit in the "10" items or less line. Ask the person behind you to put it in his basket and give him the money.. If he objects, tell him "you dont even have 10 items, why the phuck you trippin?"

Scenario 4: If you are a personal assistant and your boss asks you to do things like get his coffee "ask him can you see your job summary"? Surely it must be different than people lower than you in the chain of command right?

Interviewing Is All in the Mind

Dont you get tired of preparing day n night for what appears to be a "certain" job offer then they tell you that you dont meet the qualifications..And dont you hate when they ask you "Do you have any questions for me?" after your interview knowing damn well they will never see you again.. Well I have some interviewing tips for you to ensure yourself that they WONT forget you...

Tip 1: When they ask you where do you see yourself in 5 years, take a breath, lean back, and say "I see myself in an office like this(while looking around the office in admiration).

Tip 2: When a female interviewer asks you "Why should I hire you?"...lean forward and look deep in her eyes and say "Well, I dont mind started from the bottom..I plan to start from the bottom and work my way to the top."

Tip 3:When they ask you whats your desired salary..Step out and ask people who have the same job position how much they making 1st..You dont wanna sell yourself short right?

Tip 4:When they ask you "do you have reliable transportation?"...Its nothing wrong with asking him/her how often do the buses run around here...

Tip 5: And finally when they say to you "Thank you we'll be callin you soon". Be proactive and kick off your shoes and say "It's okay, I'll wait"

Either they will remember you or you will be slapped with lawsuit but at least you'll know where you stand immediately!!!