Black History Tales

Black History Tales: History's Greatest Invention

No need to go into detail of its importance... The Snooze Button!!!
Black people everywhere should salute Teddy "Snooze" Jenkins .... Yall azzez wouldn't have achieved half of the things in your lives if it wasn't for this lazy black man and his vision...lol

Black History Tales

During WWI, there were black men that fought for this country. Anyone could join but had to pass drug and alcohol tests first.. Contrary to belief, black men were clean and didn't do drugs in that era.. But it all changed during battle.. During one of the battles, soldiers of all colors fought, some injured, others bloodied.. They assembled these soldiers in tents and attempted to nurse them back to health. They separated groups by labeling them "Crippled", those that had severe injuries and"Bloodied", those that had minor injuries . The nurses assigned to these camps carried morphine, IV's, and other medication.. But as you can sense, the Crippled group had a larger quantity for need.. But that didn't sit right for a couple of black soldiers in the Bloodied group. They stormed the medical staff and began fighting with the nurses,forcing some of the Crippled group to fight back for their medication.. When the Crippled group were low on medication, they retaliated and stormed the Bloodied groups camps, though it took longer to make it there due to their injuries...This went on for some time until the Army disbanded all members that were involved and sent them home... But unfortunately two members from rival groups lived within one block of each other in Compton,CA... They remembered and assembled a strong following of family and friends for their respected causes... The rest is history.... The Army never confirmed that this started a nationwide phenomenom... But I feel obligated to show you the truth...

Black History Tales

Women have longed for respect in history since the beginning of time. Men get all the credit for everything.. The quote says "Behind every good man, there's a good woman". Or better yet, a black woman... There are occasions in history where a black woman was behind alot of the inventions and technology used today. Renowned pioneers such as Alexander Grahm Bell had an affair with a black woman.. She became pregnant and showed up at his doorstep numerous times to the dismay of Bell. Bell had to figure out a way of having this woman not show up unannounced while with his white family.. He began experimenting on a line of communication that would alarm him in advance..After numerous attempts, he finally invented the phone and gave his pregnant black mistress the 1st model.. He told her "Bitch, call before you come from now on..Matter fact, I'll call you when I get paid every month".. This became known to America as "child support"..This method took off and never turned back... Other instances of black woman influence include, Ben Franklin who had intentions of suicide due to the constant bickering of his black mistress..He thought "Fuck it", and flew a kite in a thunderstorm..He had no idea that he would discover electricity... There was George Washington Carver, whose pregnant fiancee ate more than he could pay for..So he thought of ways to maximize servings of peanuts and sweet potatoes for her needy ass.. The list goes on.... It's a shame black women didn't know their significance in history sooner... This world may be a better place by now...

Black History Tales

Francis Scott Key to most wrote the Star Spangled Banner. But he was helped out a little.. In fact it wasn't his song.. It belonged to Barry Fitzpatrick, a long-time slave of Francis S. Key. Fitzpatrick was thought to be Key's personal assistant.. He waited on Key ,hand and foot..But he dreaded being a slave and not recieving pay..Well one night , on New Year's eve 1814, Fitzpatrick sat on top of the roof and begin scribbling in his journal.. He witnessed fireworks and drank all night..He awoke the next morning to Francis Key screaming at him and took his journal.. Key read through his writings and came across a passionate, yet brilliant poem Fitzgerald had written ... He thought to himself, damn this is good..Maybe if I rearrange some words I can get this published... The Original Poem went as so:

O Boy, I cant see myself here no more,By morning Im leaving.
Too beautiful a night to be sitting here wasting my life away..
Look at this damn flag, I aint fighting for no damn body.
Damn ramnparts... I see em bleeding everywhere...
Rockets flying and shit...Bombs going off..this some BS...
Just to prove who's hardest?..Take those flags and shove em...
Wave your star sprinkled!!! Go on , Wave em fools!!!
It aint yall land, yall aint paid no damn body.. Just taking shit..Weak mfers!!

After Key rewrote the poem, he went and got it published.. It became an instant hit.. Fitzpatrick got wind of this and confronted Key.. He asked "How could you do this?At least give me some credit."....Key replied "Nigga, you aint even supposed to know how to read or write... Get yo azz back in the house. You lucky I dont have you jailed for such a violation".... Fitzpatrick later was stoned to death because he tried to write another one and was caught... But he was never recognized... Until today..... We honor you as the "Original Ghostwriter"...

Black History Tales

What is a snitch?..Is it a person that tells?..Is it the person that reports what was told?.. Well in this instance it's the one that didn't have any intentions on snitching.......In the 1810's, before Harriet Tubman, there was a secret society of slaves who had visions of being free.. Led by Nathan Beller, the slaves orchestrated a plan to infiltrate plantations and steal goods necessary for survival in their quest.. The slaves entered numerous plantation homes and robbed the slavemasters all while gathering slaves in union... On Feb.6,1811, Beller and his mob, stormed a plantation in Vicksburg, Virginia..Unknowingly to them, it was home to the General of the Confederacy, Robert E. Lee. Lee treated his slaves, contrary to belief, as his family. They slept in beds, ate with the family, and had paying jobs. When Beller approached the slaves about joining them, one stood out and said "Nigga, you out yo damn mind..We winning over here". As Beller continued to state his case, the slaves got mad and told Beller to leave or die.. Beller , still tried to reason upon leaving and hoped they changed their minds. He told them where the rest stop was , what time they were leaving , and where they planned to storm the next plantation.. Although Lee's slaves listened, they weren't trying to hear it.. But alas, Lee's wife heard what was said, because Beller's mob tied them up, blindfolded them, but negated to cover her ears..She relayed what she heard to her husband and he was ready for them as they approached the next plantation.. As they were being rounded up to be slaughtered, Beller asked for permission to speak... He hollered out to his followers "Which one of yall told him..Who the damn snitch?". They all pointed directly at Beller , shaking their heads.. Beller realized his mistake and accepted his fate... Dumb azz!!!!..Today we honor Nathan Beller as the self imposed "Original Snitch"

Black History Tales

What is a snitch?..Is it a person that tells?..Is it the person that reports what was told?.. Well in this instance it's the one that didn't have any intentions on snitching.......In the 1810's, before Harriet Tubman, there was a secret society of slaves who had visions of being free.. Led by Nathan Beller, the slaves orchestrated a plan to infiltrate plantations and steal goods necessary for survival in their quest.. The slaves entered numerous plantation homes and robbed the slavemasters all while gathering slaves in union... On Feb.6,1811, Beller and his mob, stormed a plantation in Vicksburg, Virginia..Unknowingly to them, it was home to the General of the Confederacy, Robert E. Lee. Lee treated his slaves, contrary to belief, as his family. They slept in beds, ate with the family, and had paying jobs. When Beller approached the slaves about joining them, one stood out and said "Nigga, you out yo damn mind..We winning over here". As Beller continued to state his case, the slaves got mad and told Beller to leave or die.. Beller , still tried to reason upon leaving and hoped they changed their minds. He told them where the rest stop was , what time they were leaving , and where they planned to storm the next plantation.. Although Lee's slaves listened, they weren't trying to hear it.. But alas, Lee's wife heard what was said, because Beller's mob tied them up, blindfolded them, but negated to cover her ears..She relayed what she heard to her husband and he was ready for them as they approached the next plantation.. As they were being rounded up to be slaughtered, Beller asked for permission to speak... He hollered out to his followers "Which one of yall told him..Who the damn snitch?". They all pointed directly at Beller , shaking their heads.. Beller realized his mistake and accepted his fate... Dumb azz!!!!..Today we honor Nathan Beller as the self imposed "Original Snitch"

Black History Tales

Back in the 60's, cars weren't a luxury. They were primarily used on a need to drive basis. Car shows were mostly classified as shops with broken engine parts being sold. Well that all changed by the actions of one young man, Jimmy Townsend.. Jimmy was a 16 yr old boy that grew up in a strict, disciplined, hard-working middle class family. His friends often teased him about not being able to hang out and being a "good ole boy".. Well on Nov.5th that stigma changed. Jimmy had decided enough is enough. He planned to gain street cred by taking his moms car and hanging out at the new neighborhood spot. Jimmy knew how to drive but didnt exactly understand the concept of driving a stick shift. At approx. midnight, he took his moms keys and headed out, stopping to pick up 3 of his friends. As he arrived at the hangout, he noticed that there were numerous cars with music blasting, women everywhere, just a good ole party..He blasted his music and proceeded down a single lane that other cars were heading through.. He proceeded until he go to a dead end area and put his car in neutral.. But because he had minimum knowledge of driving a stick shift, he declined to pull the emergency brake.. As he and his friends exited, the car,unknowingly to him, began to slowly drift down a slightly steep hill. One of his friends shouted "Jimmy, your momma's car!!!".. Jimmy frantically tried to jump in the car while it rolled picking up speed... As he tried grabbing the wheel, the car swirved left and right.. The crowd gasped, shouting, "Look at Jimmy..That boy showing out"... As Jimmy finally jumped it the seat, he slammed the breaks..The car make stopped and the tail end hopped up and down... The crowd cheered... Jimmy hit the gas , and the car spinned in a circular motion, screeching tires , and smoke everywhere...The crowd cheered in disbelief....Scared, Jimmy finally regained his composure and drove home... The next day at school, Jimmy was a street car legend.. Jimmy realized this and used the popularity all the way to his grave, the following weekend..He died of brain bleeding from trying to do the same damn trick down the same damn hill...He was never recognized as a trendsetter thereafter but as a "dumbazz"(which today would describe most teenage drivers)...Until now.. His idiotic bravado started movements such as the West Coast "Hyphy" and Houston's "Swangin n Bangin".... We Honor You as the first to do car tricks

Black History Tales

People get this misconception that "jacking" was a term started during the urbanization period. But it started in the 1920's during when automobiles were 1st introduced. A child to a slave name Jackie Andersen, inherited property and a line of mules , after his father died. Jackie was what was called a "home body" that didn't do shit in his spare time... He often marveled at the scene of cars passing his home while tending to his mules...He thought to himself "One day , Imma get me a car and be the envy of all mule owners in this town...People are gonna remember me"...Well one day, Jackie went and applied for a car at the local dealer...They laughed and said what do you have for collateral. He pointed toward his mules resting out front... One white employee said "Nigger, get the fuck outta here with that damn donkey"... Jackie felt insulted and made notice of this gentleman... He remembered that the white guy passes his house late,everynight.. Later he sat outside his home waiting for him to pass... As he approached he said "remember me?"...This is how the conversation ensued.....

Jackie: Gimme your car, this is a jack(pointing knife)!!!
White guy: A jack? (looking around)What you got flat or something nigger?
Jackie: Nah man, this is a jack
WG: (confused)Hey Jack, this is a Tom.... Howdy!!!...Now move outta the way!!!
Jackie: Look man, I aint gonna say this again...(pointing knife)This is a jack, get out the car
WG: (pause,smirk) Nigger, thats a pocketknife..(Laughing, while driving off) You black people are so funny....

Jackie felt humiliated and was mocked by people for the rest of his days... Never getting credit for invented the urban myth of jacking...Until Now!!!!

Black History Tales

Black History Tales: Tensions between African-Americans and Africans reached a boilin point in 1959.Nelson Mandela and Malcolm X had discussed plans of gettin blacks to return to Africa. But things took a turn when Mandela said "We'll welcome you with open arms. " . Malcolm retaliated and said "Muthaphucka we been over here 450 yrs. Not 1 canoe has shown up to pick our ass up."

Black History Tales

Black History Tales: The Summer Olympics started on a plantation in Cleo,Virginia in 1832. Slavemasters would assemble to clock times of slave reactions to gunfire. They measured speed and endurance(100m & 1600m), athleticism(fence jumpin/high jump), and using sticks/​rocks(javelin,discus,pole vault)..This became a world wide phenomenon....

Black History Tales

Black History Tales: Memoirs of slave Rilo Demus were found and concealed from the public in 1799. It revealed that he sold what is now known as "crack" to Paul Revere, who rode on horseback,shirtless at 2AM yellin "The British are comin". Alexander Bell who talked into a can hopin someone would talk back. And Ben Franklin, who wanted to prove electricity existed when he flew a kite in a thunderstorm. U be the judge!

Black History Tales

Black History Tales: Contrary to popular belief, George Washington didnt chop down a cherry tree..It was a pecan tree planted by slaves Aaron and Mykal Adjavon..When asked why he chopped it down he replied "Everybody knows blacks love pecans and watermelon. Cant have em just hangin out in front of the White House..(while pickin up a watermelon seed) See what I'm talkin about?"...

Black History Tales

Black History Tales: The last slaves to get word of being "free" were owned by defeated Confederate Gen. Robert E Lee..His 5 slaves were 100% deaf so he showed them the papers he signed to end slavery.But he knew they couldnt read so they continued to work for him for the next 20 yrs.When asked on his death bed by US President Ulysses Grant, why he didnt let them know he replied "I did..Payback a Bitch Aint It"

Black History Tales

Black History Tales: Have you ever wondered what black people did after finding out they were freed?...Im sure after the celebrations they were like "What the hell we supposed to do now?(lookin around aimlessly)".....One probably said "I dont know what yall go do but Im gettin the hell off this yard b4 they change their minds"